Why is my husband such a liar? My gut is telling me he is being unfaithful.

by G
(Virginia)

Why is my husband such a liar? It seems that everything that comes out of his mouth lately is a lie. I'm starting to believe he is either a pathological liar or is he being unfaithful to me. An ongoing theme is that there is always something or some reason that he doesn't come home in a reasonable amount of time after work.


He is supposed to get off of work at 3 everyday. However, lately there is always some kind of excuse as to why he won't be home anytime close to that time. It is not everyday, but atlas twice a week there is some great mystery that prevents him from coming home or answering his phone in a timely manner. On those days, I will call him and it will either go straight into voicemail or he doesn't answer. It will take him a long time for him to call me back when this happens. The funny thing is, when I am with him, his phone is always attached to him and he is always available to take the calls no matter who is calling him.

On several of those occasions I have called him out for smelling like alcohol, and he will say he just stopped to have a quick drink before he came in. However, it actions and demeanor tells me he had more than just one drink.

I jut feel that he is now a compulsive liar or is lying to cover up the fact that he is sleeping around with someone else, or about to. I am such a loyal person and this is killing me. I believe relationships are built and maintained on trust. He is slowly destroying all the trust I have in him. Whatever trust I have left is slowly being crushed and dismantled with each new story that he tells me.

Why can't my husband stop lying and come clean if he really wants to end or marriage or be with someone else. I can't understand why he would prefer to stay with me if he really didn't want to be with me. We don't have any kids together, and we are both still young. I don't believe in divorce, but I also can't see myself staying in a marriage in which I am constantly disrespected and lied to.

Is there any hope that he will change his behavior? My gut tells me he is messing around, but I don't have any proof and by nature I always give people the benefit of the doubt. Please I need advice from anyone that has been in a similar situation. I am a very strong person, but my mind is a little clouded right now.

Thanks,
G-

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starstarstarstarstar 		My husband can't stop lying either...
by: Cathy

I have pain in my heart as I read your post. I know what you are going through because I also have a husband that is a habitual liar. We have 2 beautiful kids together, and I chose to stay with him because of our kids. I know it is not right for us, but I chose to sacrifice my happiness for our kids. I would not recommend it to anyone else, but this was my choice. I pray that your situation will have a better outcome than mine. I also am not losing hope that my husband will stop lying and change for the better as well.
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starstarstarstarstar 		You have your answers already
by: Anonymous

After reading your post, it's clear to me as an outsider looking in that you have all your answers that you need. I know it doesn't feel that way because you haven't actually caught him in bed with someone else. But you know he is a liar and possibly a cheater. If he wasn't willing to come clean or maybe go to counseling then I would give him an ultimatum. Do you want to live the rest of your life like this? That's terrible to think about isn't it? Then you have to stand up and respect yourself if your husband is not doing it. It doesn't really matter why your husband is lying, but he is and its affecting you and your marriage. Your marriage is just a ticking time bomb at this point. He is not going to o willing change unless he has to. Even then he may not change but you have to do things differently in order to try and get to a resolution.
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starstarstarstarstar 		If he's lying it will come to light
by: Jill

Your situation sounds very painful. I understand being filled with mixed emotions. Wanting to trust your husband while looking at him and thinking that you just want to scream, "you F-ing liar!"

If your husband is lying, and he is being unfaithful I really do think that it will come out in time. Either that, or it will come to you and you will know what to do in your relationship.

Please hang in there, I know exactly what you are going through. Unfortunately I don't have any advice that will make you feel any better right now. Pray on it. Good luck honey.

Jill
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starstarstarstarstar 		:(
by: Anonymous

Im so very sorry you are having to go through this. I knew the entire time my husband was cheating on me but i couldnt prove it. His whole demeanor changed. Be put a lock code on his phone, changed his fb password, kept his phone with him at ALL times...all the signs were there. My mind knew it but my heart didnt want to believe it. Through the years time, everything worsened. I confronted him, he denied it like i knew he would. This past October i got a message on f.b. and i knew the second i got it that it was her. She got mad because he broke it off and she decided to tell me everything. We are still together but idk if i can get past it.

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