I am confused About My Wife's Infidelity - Not Sure If the Lying or Actual Cheating Hurt More

by Alex
(Michigan)

Not Sure If the Lying or Actual Cheating Hurt More

I recently found out about an affair that my wife had. I only found out because she left the computer on one night and her Facebook account was logged on.

I didn't intend on snooping through her account but it was right there in front of me. On her account I saw inbox messages to man that I know she use to be involved with right before we met.

The messages did not exactly say that they were intimate with each other, but after confronting my wife as if I knew the entire thing, she finally confessed. She told me that they shared a romantic kiss one night after seeing each other out after many years. They reconnected on Facebook and the relationship/flirting continued there even though they did not see each other again after that. (so she says)

I am so hurt and the truth is that I am not sure if her lies hurt more than the actual kiss they shared. I feel that if I did not sit down at the computer that night, the secret would have continued and who knows where it would have led.

The fact that her first instinct was to cover it up, is really whats killing me inside. I love my wife and I would like to get past this, but I don't know how I should be feeling or acting at this point.

How can I completely trust my wife again after this? Is it possible to regain that trust with her? Will she reach out to this guy again?

I have so many burning questions in my head, and I know I can't ask her right now because no matter what she says I will probably still have my doubts.

Any advice????