How Long Does it Take to Rebuild Trust After Being Cheated On

by P-
(Sad in Florida)

How Long Does it Take to Rebuild Trust After Infidelity?

How Long Does it Take to Rebuild Trust After Infidelity?

Hello everyone, I am hoping to get some feedback. I was recently cheated on by my wife and I would like to know how long does it take to rebuild trust after being cheated on.


At this current moment, I am trying to save my marriage and I would prefer replies relating to saving my marriage but I am open to hearing your thoughts about why it may not work.

I am open to all answers, but I am definitely giving it a shot before just walking away from my marriage.

My wife cheated on me, and since her confession (she voluntarily confessed to me) she has done everything "perfect" in our relationship.

However, I am can’t get over her indiscretion and the details of her infidelity are embedded in my mind. I have tried everything to bury it but nothing works. I know time is a major factor in overcoming infidelity, but I do not feel like I have gained an ounce more of trust since and it has been over 7 months ago.

We recently began going back to church each week and I have been praying for a resolution that will end with us being happy again. We have also discussed marriage counseling but because of finances we have not been able to go as yet.

I know there are people that believe, "Once a cheater always a cheater." But are there those out there that has rebuilt trust after being cheated on?

I also want to add, that while I lack trust moving forward in our relationship I have to admit that I believe my wife's story 100%. I saw the pain, disappointment in her eyes as she confessed. As it was happening, I felt my pain and her pain at the same time. Its very hard to explain but I did.

My wife has always been someone that I have always respected and I had her on a pedestal. In fact, she is someone that is trusted among her friends and in her profession. This especially why it hurts so much.

In your replies, I am asking for as much details as possible. While I appreciate all replies, a general reply like “Give it time” is not what I am looking for. I am looking for a story or reply that will give me hope so I know that what I am doing may possibly lead to a happy ending.

So please, please…

How long does it take to rebuild trust after being cheating on?

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by: Anonymous

Hello,

I see you chose to do what I did many years ago. Despite what everyone else said, I chose to stay with my wife after she stepped out on our marriage.

I am note sure if my answer will be enough for you because you are in the "early" stages of surviving infidelity. For me it has been 7 years and I still have vivid images in my head from time to time.

That part will never leave. I struggled day to day in the beginning and then eventually it went week to week then month to month.

This went on for over a year. It was only until I read a book about Forgiveness (will come back and tell you title when I find it) that I was finally able to understand what I needed to do if I ever wanted to be happy again. It took everything in me, but I was finally able to wholeheartedly forgive my wife for what she did.

At the very moment that I truly "forgave" her, I felt a weight off my back. I was able to breathe again!

So, to answer your question I don't think there is a definite time needed to rebuild trust after cheating or infidelity but I do think it WILL NOT happen or even begin to happen until you are truly able to open up, forgive her and then release the weight that you are now carrying.

By the way, I consider myself Happy in Love again! Its different, but I am HAPPY! :)

There is hope!

Hope my answer helps, even just a bit!

Chris

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